Worried that no one will follow you on Instagram, or can’t check Facebook because your battery has died? There’s an acronym for that.
Kate Moss celebrated her 42nd birthday last weekend. We say “celebrated”, but truth be told, we barely know what she did, because a) she issued a social media blackout and b) the paparazzi failed us. No Instagram, no Vines, not a bean, bar Boy George, who broke the embargo by tweeting that he had “a lovely night” at a Bowie-themed bash. Naturally, the mind boggles as to what went down, inspiring what can only be described as a deep feeling of Momo, or the mystery of missing out.
Kate Moss at a recent restaurant launch: ‘The cooler an event is, the less likely it is to be on social media.’ Photograph: David M Benett/Getty Images
The newer, more evil sister to Fomo (2011’s fear of missing out, referring to the bleak feeling of seeing other people’s fun on Instagram or Facebook), Momo is the suspicion that you are missing out on events not even documented on social media (often because the people at them are too busy “experiencing the experience”). It’s very now, and not just because of Moss. These days, the better/cooler/funner an event it is, the less likely it is to be on social media. The chicest thing to do on New Year’s Eve was check out. When Bowie died, the coolest response was to grieve silently, then maybe post something a few days later. Phoebe Philo, the creative director of Céline, hailed being unGoogleable as the ultimate in chic.
That Momo has become a reality is depressing in itself – if you are as bothered by what is left off Instagram as what gets posted on it, it is probably time to take a long, hard look at yourself and your wider social circle. But it doesn’t stop at Momo: the “missing out” stable has become rich and varied, embracing Bromo, Foji and Jomo. Here is a guide to the five most useful:
Bromo The act of your bros (ie friends) not posting pictures of the party you missed, so as to avoid “rubbing things in”. Kind but, on reflection, a little patronising.
Foji The fear of joining in, the flipside to Momo, based on the idea of opting out of Instagram and its ilk because you don’t know what to post and/or you’re afraid no one will follow you.
Fo-momo The fear of the mystery of missing out. Based on the unfamiliar adage that “where there are no pictures, there is generally fire”, this is the panic you get when you can’t even tell what people are posting because your battery has died.
Slomo AKA slow to missing out. What happens when you’ve checked out of social media for the night and awake to find your Instagram feed riddled with other people’s fun, which usually results in a Dark Day.
Jomo The joy of missing out. A worthy alternative floated a couple of years ago, based on the fallacious premise that non-participation is something to be relished.
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